So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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