I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The feeling are messing with the penis
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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