I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Enjoy the penises
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
