Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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