At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Come on in and take your pants off
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