Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
