fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
