I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
