she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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