The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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