I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
