OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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