I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
