I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm just crazy horny about you
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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