Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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