it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
