You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
