What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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