I heard we made out
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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