mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
