Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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