No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
