I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
