OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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