Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll

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(440): View more from Ohio

planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out

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(917): View more from New York City

Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him

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(240): View more from Maryland

It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you

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(714): View more from California

considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned

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(512): View more from Texas

Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash

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