there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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