I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
