OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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