I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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