Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
