Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
