If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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