The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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