What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
