I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
