I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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