dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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