He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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