i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
