try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
