Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I will be naked everywhere
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
