My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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