She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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