i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
