The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
