is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
