Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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