it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
how drunk are you?
Several
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
