What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
