I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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